Use Your Words

Let me start by saying I love the internet and social media. I love the instantaneous nature and instant gratification surrounding all it has to offer. I love being able to connect with people and events in my life – all from the comfort of my own home. And truthfully, can it get any easier? Need to know something? Google it. Want to touch base with a friend? Message them. Appreciate some cute pictures of your friend’s new Labradoodle? Like them. It’s quick, it’s easy and it’s fun.

However, like with most good things, problems can still arise… (Ice cream? Good. Eating too much? Stomachache. Eating too fast? Brain freeze.)

Here’s my issue. This simplistic, instantaneous nature that makes the process so enjoyable has also succeeded in providing some people with a false sense of courage and security. It’s so easy to send a quick “Hey there” to a friend or a “Love your product” to a brand – but unfortunately it’s just as easy for people to spew out streams of negativity. There are far too many examples of people saying negative things to or about people, businesses, etc. – all while hiding behind the safety of their computer/laptop/Smartphone. Facebook groups, message boards and the Twittersphere are great resources for a number of things – but being able to interact with people you don’t know and have never met seems to give some people the idea that they can say or do whatever comes to mind without considering any or all consequences of their words.

People tweet or post negative or cryptic comments about people in their lives and can become much more hurtful or aggressive when sending messages or emails to a person – simply because typing words on a keyboard seems to remove them from any emotion or reality about how these words will be received and/or perceived.

This isn't to say some people have very valid things to say and reasons to say them. After all, the world is not always full of sunshine and lollipops alone. It's just the off-the-cuff comments and excerpts that seem to be thrown out without any thought to their impact or consequences that don't seem right. 

The process of getting feelings, thoughts and emotions out via the written word is certainly not a new development, and it can be an extremely helpful, informative and cathartic process. Sometimes it’s easier to truly articulate all that a person is thinking or feeling through a thoughtfully crafted note, then to find the words and speak them aloud. I’m a huge fan of the written word and think more people should take the time to appreciate all that it has to offer.

The problem occurs when people convince themselves that making unfounded assumptions, uninformed judgements and general negative and hurtful comments – and sending them unedited into cyberspace for the world to read – is somehow acceptable. I’m not sure how that cultural shift began but it saddens me to think people are operating under the assumption that there is no responsibility or accountability for their actions – even ones as simple as sending an email or firing off a posted comment.

One of the lessons I have always emphasized with my nine-year-old son is “Use your words”. It’s important to me that he grows up knowing that people can often be judged by the words that they choose to use – both when writing and when speaking aloud. I want him to know that words carry great power and that he has to make the conscious choice each and every day to take responsibility for the words he puts out there.

I know that we are all incredibly lucky to live as we do – with the freedom to express our thoughts and feelings however we choose, and with the technology to allow ourselves to do so quickly and conveniently. But it’s also important to treat that freedom with the responsibility that comes with it. Just because you hit “Send” or “Post”, doesn’t mean you don’t still own the words. Next time you’re about to fire off a tweet, post, message or email, take a look at it and think – would you be okay reading this allowed in front of the person or company you’re sending it to or about? If not, maybe it's time to take a deep breath...

Second photo image credit: http://www.writingforward.com

My Big Social Media Lesson

My Big Social Media Lesson

Facebook. Twitter. Linked In. Google Plus. Email. MSN. BBM…. Seriously, if I didn’t know any better, I could walk around with a seriously swelled head at how “connected” I am!

Now, if you’re one of those people who eat, sleep & breathe social media and can’t get enough of it, you may want to stop reading here. Go ahead……. I’ll wait………

For the rest of you, I have a confession to make…. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the world of social media. And truthfully, even once I was immersed in the world of the never-ending posts, updates, tweets, pings, nudges, and whatnot, I still trudged through it with a raised eyebrow and a grain of salt (sadly, not always around the rim of a margarita glass!).

To me the majority of these platforms took me back to all of the negative aspects of high school that I had hoped time – and therapy – had allowed me to forget. The showiness of people oversharing every last detail of their lives; the ‘cliquey-ness’ of people and groups who never seem to have time for anyone else; the acne… (Oh wait, wrong rant!). The majority of it all seemed like something that I “should” be doing, rather than something I really “wanted” to do.

All of that changed for me this past week.

Unfortunately my family was forced to deal with an incredibly sad and traumatic ordeal recently. I needed to get some information out in a hurry and decided to send it to some of my online “friends” in the hopes that one or two people might help out and spread the message.

To say I was overwhelmed would be a huge understatement.  Within minutes over 50 people had sent out the information; within an hour the number rose to over 100. Many of these were people I’ve never even met or spoken to IRL* (*IRL = In Real Life) yet they all took the time to help out a relative stranger. In fact, many of them sent me personal emails and messages with words of support and encouragement – and have followed up to check up on me as days have passed.

Truly amazed, humbled and grateful.

In today’s online world it’s easy to sometimes feel like just another random “friend”, “follower” or “fan” – another miscellaneous profile on various lists, groups or pages. It’s hard to believe that a person can feel isolated or alone in a time where we’re all more connected than we’ve ever been – but it can happen. The good news is that – just like high school – there are some truly amazing people who are there for you when you really need them.

So to all of those wonderful people who let me sit at the “cool kids’ table” this week and helped me through this tough time, my sincerest thanks. Thanks for the support… and thanks for helping me understand and appreciate the true value of the social circles that I am privileged to be part of.