Just Two More Minutes

Have you ever heard the phrase “the gift of time”? I recently had one of those moments that caused me to reflect upon exactly what that meant. As a society we generally walk around with a sense of both entitlement and infallibility when it comes to time. Whatever we don’t get to today can always be tackled tomorrow. Too busy answering emails to play with our kids at the park? Not in the budget to take a family vacation this year? So preoccupied with getting dinner on the table that we can’t listen to the same knock-knock joke for the 187th time? No worries. Tomorrow we’ll do a better job and be a better parent.

Last night as I hurried home from a class to crawl into my son’s bed for a goodnight cuddle, I can admit that even though I love feeling his little arms wrapped around my chest – and I was happy to be there – my mind was already jumping ahead to my ever-so-important to-do list – Make his lunch for the next day, check my emails, change the laundry, run over my presentation for the next day’s training session, remember to get gas the next day…..  Pretty typical stuff. When I went to leave he held on a little bit tighter and asked me to stay for just two more minutes. With a sigh, I thought about everything else I needed to get done that night. Besides, he should already be asleep, it was already far too late, and it’s not like I hadn’t already cuddled him. As I stood up to leave I took a moment to really feel his little fingers wrapped around mine and truly see his beautiful little face and decided right then and there that just two more minutes was not too much to ask.

There are 1440 minutes in a day – how many of those do you spend really being present? Not shuttling kids to another sporting event or dance class. Not bribing them to eat one more green bean. Not making sure that their teeth are brushed & their hair is combed. Not explaining to them why beds really do need to get made. I’m talking about really being with them.

Not responding on autopilot with another “Yes, I see…” or “Uh huh…” or “Sure, great somersault”. I’m talking about absolutely unplugging from the rest of the world and being completely present in whatever is happening during those two minutes. Not checking email while watching them run around in the backyard. Not commenting on another Crayola-inspired masterpiece while making sure the dishwasher is loaded. Not cutting a hug short because dinner is on the table and getting cold. I’m talking about truly appreciating the fact that the gift of just two more minutes with those who live inside of your heart is truly a gift beyond compare.

How many people would kill to have just two more minutes with a loved one? What if we changed our perspective to see that the number of minutes we have with our families is actually a finite number, and not an unlimited amount? What if we reminded ourselves that the next two minutes we spend with our kids are just as important as the last two minutes we have with them? What if we remembered that in our final days it won’t be our iPhones, clients or dirty laundry that we’ll be thinking of – it’s much more likely that our minds will be full of visions of sticky fingerprint hugs, sun-kissed smiling faces, sounds of happiness emanating from full-on belly laughs, the quiet beauty of a sleeping child…

Aren’t these the things that are worth taking just two more minutes to appreciate while we have them? The days are long but the years are short. Kids grow up fast… too fast. That “tomorrow” we’ve all been banking on may hold something completely out of our control. Those two more minutes we’ve all been banking on and putting off until tomorrow may become the moments that mean the most.

So today I challenge you to put down the iPhone, close up your Inbox, step away from the dirty dishes… then pull up a chair and truly be with your loved ones for a full two minutes. Truly appreciate that artwork, share a belly laugh, listen to that knock-knock joke (again), stay for that extra cuddle... You may find that those two minutes turn to five or even ten. You may find the world will actually keep turning while you step away from your daily routine for two minutes. You may even find that those two minutes will end up equalling a lifetime of memories for you and your loved ones.

Think about it. What could you do with just two more minutes?

My Fine, Feathered Fear

To most people, the signs of Spring are welcoming, cheerful, and joyous. I, however, am not most people.

Blooming flowers… love them.
Sunny days… sign me up.
Singing birds – Houston, we have a problem!

Yes, I’ll admit it – my phobia isn’t one of the cooler snake/spider/heights variety. I’m deathly afraid of all things feathered and flapping!

Now truthfully, other than a few nasty run-ins with some killer geese at local parks, or the odd petting zoo catastrophe, this phobia is relatively tolerable. I can definitely live with it. However, what I have learned is that it’s OTHER PEOPLE who can’t seem to live with it!

Apparently, living in perpetual horror of all ‘freaky flyers’ is NOT the coolest or most accepted phobia on the block! Tell people you’re afraid of spiders, snakes or heights and you’re welcomed into the club with open arms. Tell people that Big Bird sends shivers down your spine and your met with a disbelieving stare, smirk or one of five ever-so-helpful responses:

 “You’re not ACTUALLY afraid of birds, are you??”
ACTUALLY no, I just thought it would be a great conversation starter. Please excuse any wayward hyperventilation or sweat droplets that may appear as I eye that swarm of seagulls circling above. It’s obviously just for effect…

“Birds aren’t scary – they make such beautiful music!”
Let’s face it – birds may chirp but they’re no Adele. Besides, spiders spin delicate and intricate webs of spun silk that could be admired. And some of the most beautiful views in the world are gained from the highest mountaintops or tallest buildings. You don’t see those glorious attributes winning over too many phobia-inflicted individuals!

“Why don’t you just get a bird feeder so you can watch & appreciate them?”
That’s a FANTASTIC idea! What could be better than inviting the source of my fears and frustrations onto my own turf? I’m pretty sure all of my snake-fearing counterparts take up snake charming in their spare time so they can get up close and personal too…

“What about chickadees or canaries? They’re just tiny…”
Does it fly/flap/peck? From canaries to parrots to ostriches (don’t even get me started on the concept of a bird that is bigger than I am and can outrun me too!), the only thing I want to see flying is the 747 whisking me off to a bird-free paradise!

“Have you ever seen the movie ‘The Birds’?”
Of course! Because my idea of a good time is spending an evening sitting in front of the TV with my loved ones, terrorizing myself by choice! In fact, sometimes I jab toothpicks under my fingernails during the commercials just to kick it up a notch!

So yes, I realize that there is a distinct hierarchy in the world of phobias, and my fine-feathered fear and I fall neatly to the bottom of the pile. All the cool kids are huddled together in great company staring down terrifying tarantulas, scary snakes and horrific heights – reassured that they are not now, nor will the ever be, alone in their periods of popular paranoia.

So it’s time to take a stand – I’m taking back the terror, dealing with the dread and allowing the anxiety! Have a fear that others might see as ‘flighty’? Share it here and be proud of the panic!

I Am A Mom

I am a mom.
I know what it feels like to exist on 22 minutes of sleep and 22 cups of coffee (all cold, and rarely finished).
I’m eagerly awaiting the fashion trend that celebrates spit-up, sticky fingerprints and snot smears.
I can’t always hear myself think, but I can pick out my child’s cry from a playground full of other children.
I have no idea where my keys are but I can pinpoint the whereabouts of the extra diapers, the pink hairclip with the purple flower, the birthday party invitation, the red HotWheels car (no not that one, the other one!) and the jar of pickles… all while getting dinner on the table.


I am a mom.

I am continuously making decisions that I feel are best for my child.
I breastfed my baby because I want the best for him. I fed him with a bottle because I want what’s best for him.
My child sleeps in his own crib because I love him. My child sleeps with me because I love him.
I had my son circumcised because it was right for our family. I chose not to circumcise my son because it was right for our family.
I pierced my little girl’s ears because I think its beautiful. I chose not to pierce my little girl’s ears because I think its beautiful.
I made my child’s baby food from scratch because I wanted him to be healthy. I bought pre-made baby food because I wanted him to be healthy.
I have one child because that is the perfect amount for our family. I have more than one child because that is the perfect amount for our family.


I am a mom.

I am a mom who chooses to celebrate successes and support challenges of other moms, rather than continually contrast, compare and judge.
I am a mom who realizes that parenting is tough enough without having to make other parents justify the choices that they make for their children and their family.
I am a mom who wants the best for her child and her family and am always striving to ensure that every decision I make has that same goal in mind.
I am a mom who recognizes that we all do our best for our children and our families and “whatever gets you through the day” is quite often enough.


I am a mom.

I am my child’s biggest fan, fiercest protector, and strongest supporter.
Since becoming a mom I have felt more joy, experienced more sadness, worried more often, been frustrated more regularly, and felt more whole, more complete and more fulfilled than I could have ever imagined.


I am a mom.

I know that motherhood is about love, guidance and encouragement – not competition.
My son walked when it was time, cut teeth when it was time, said his first word when it was time, slept through the night when it was time, rode a tricycle when it was time, switched to a two-wheeler when it was time, got rid of his training wheels when it was time, and crossed the street by himself when it was time.
I am Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma, Mum and Mother.
I make every decision in an effort to forge a successful path through this crazy journey of motherhood.
I believe that every mom who has their children’s best interests at heart has earned the “Mom Badge” that allows them to choose what works best for them and their family.
I am strong, proud, insecure, confident, enthusiastic, exhausted, devoted, amused, inspired, frustrated, confused, focused, hopeful, loved and incredibly blessed.


I am a  mom.

Taking Back the Time-Out

Who among us has not been part of the “Time Out” debate? Do time outs really work? At what age do you start giving them? How long should your child stay in time out? The questions are seemingly endless.

Well, I have another one to add to the mix – one that, in my opinion, seriously trumps the rest of them:

What do I have to do to get a time out??

I admit it. I’m not a perfect parent. I’ve yelled at my kid; I’ve served up cheese & crackers for dinner; I’ve played the “Because I said so” card; I’ve let the laundry pile up higher than my son; I’ve let him go over his allotted daily screen time on several occasions….. Let’s face it – I’ve amassed quite a list of “don’ts” that would place me in high judgement from the infamous Parenting Tribunal.

So… can I go to my room now??

As parents, all the books, websites & parenting experts tell us that the best way to respond to misbehaviours by our kids is to send them somewhere to be completely by themselves – in isolation of everyone and everything else – in order to calm down and “think about what they’ve done”.

While I’m sure that counts as “dreaded punishment” to many mini-mischief-makers, to me it sounds like pure nirvana. Peace & quiet. No one to answer to. A chance to do whatever I want with no interruptions…. What was the negative part of this again??

I can see it now…

“Oops! I forgot that you only like turkey on your sandwich and not ham. I messed up. Guess I’ll go straight up to my room and think about what I’ve done…..”

Five minutes…. Lying on my bed…

Ten minutes… Flip quietly through the latest People magazine…

Fifteen minutes… Close my eyes and start to drift off…

“MOMMY! ARE YOU READY TO COME OUT AND TALK ABOUT WHAT YOU’VE DONE?”

“Nope – not sure I truly understand the consequences of my actions… I think I need some more time to truly grasp the severity of it all… Check back with me around dinner time!”

Pure uninterrupted bliss…. Perfection…

So how is it possible that with the amount of mistakes I’ve made, I’m still allowed to walk about freely?? Someone should really get their act together and make sure that I do whatever it takes to learn my lesson (and you should know, I’m a really slow learner!).

They say that youth is wasted on the young – but I’m pretty sure it’s the time-outs that are wasted on the tots! It’s time to take back our time-outs and give them to those of us who truly need them – who’s with me??

Hit the Road... Without Hitting the Wall!

If you’re looking to escape the endless drones of “I’m bored” this March Break but are afraid that your car doors suddenly seem more restricting than prison walls, have no fear – the successful road trip CAN be done… Sanity intact!

Last year my family was fortunate enough to be invited on a road trip to Orlando, Florida, courtesy of GM Canada and, of course, their new Chevy Orlando.  While thrilled to be able to add this adventure to our summer agenda, double digit hours spent in the car with a busy 7 year old filled me with terror. What if he gets bored after the first hour? What if I brought the wrong activities to entertain him? What if there’s no Starbucks for miles???


Needless to say, we not only survived but even thrived, so I’m paying it forward to help you survive the dreaded ROAD TRIP…


STEP 1:    Break the drive up into manageable chunks of drive time. Unless you have those kids who will pass out for 10+ hours at a time without waking, in which case, you’re already a winner!

STEP 2:    Plan something fun to see or do at each stop – a landmark, a fun restaurant, an ice cream, 10 laps around the car… whatever works for you & your brood.

STEP 3:    Load up on the car tunes - a little something for everyone's tastes. Not only can a group singalong pass the time, but if the whining gets to be too much, you can always crank the tunes and drown it out!

STEP 4: Stock up on “pleasant little time wasters”! Now’s not the time to take a stand against the “evils of the Electronic Babysitters” – embrace them… enjoy them… I might have even hugged them at various points of our journey! We were lucky enough to have an iPad with us that was loaded up with games, music, movies, TV shows…  Happy kids = happy parents. Enough said.

STEP 5:    Have some “off line” back up plans. I have a friend who plans a scavenger hunt that works for in-car time & break time (i.e. find 3 gas stations, 2 McDonalds, license plates from four states/provinces, a picnic table, 3 kinds of leaves, a straw, etc.) Winner gets their choice of some fantastic dollar store prize you stocked up on before you left!

STEP 6:    Snacks, snacks & more snacks! Stopping for treats on the way can be fun – but if you don’t have your own stash ready & waiting to supplement the stops, you could spend your entire vacation in line at the local McDonalds! And while I did make a concerted effort to load up on the fruits, water, and healthy snacks, its amazing the extra mileage and bonus “cool mom” points I got for the extra container of mini-marshmallows – good times!

STEP 7:    Put everything you need within arms’ reach. Seems like a no-brainer, right? But punctuating the ‘bliss’ of our family road trip with continual not-so-silent grumbles every time we had to pull over to grab extra snacks/games/DVDs/blankets/books/sweaters/whatever, was definitely less than idyllic!

STEP 8:   This one was definitely a new one for me, but I’m now a huge advocate of using the local Tourism boards to help plan your trip. Perhaps I’m late to the party but I always assumed that as a somewhat intelligent multi-tasking mama, planning my own trip should be a piece of cake. But thanks to the incredible assistance of the wonderful people at Visit Orlando, I now know that the cake I thought I was enjoying was actually stale bread crusts, in comparison to what they could do for me. They not only planned all of our day trips & excursions with incredible ease, but even assisted us on things like securing a taxi to the airport on our way home (something I thought would be easier than it actually was!).  Seriously – they’re now my new secret weapon – I won’t leave home without them!

STEP 9:    Have fun. Despite all of your planning, best efforts, and good intentions, there will be bumps in the road along the way – someone may get car sick, someone may have forgotten their toothbrush, someone will get bored…. Just remember that in spite of – and even because of – all of these imperfections, your road trip will be absolutely perfect because you’re creating some of those family moments – good, bad & otherwise – that you’ll all remember for years to come.

So map out those Starbucks stops, take a deep breath, and enjoy the ride……………….

"Should New Acquaintance Be Forgot...?"

Okay, so forget the “auld acquaintances” we all sang about and toasted with far too many glasses of champagne on New Year’s Eve – I’ve got bigger fish to fry! Well, truthfully, if fish were the issue, this wouldn’t be a problem, but that’s another story…

Recently, my husband and I finally made the decision to cave in to my son’s numerous requests for a dog. Yes, we tried to distract him with fish, frogs, hamsters and other ‘low maintenance’ pets… We even tried to take his mind off of it with fun family getaways – how can a mere dog compete with the happiest place on Earth?? Unfortunately, my son is not only a fun-loving 7 year old – he is also an elephant. He never forgets. And when it comes to this particular issue, he’s like a dog with a bone (pun intended!).

So we researched, planned, analyzed, deliberated, organized… and eventually welcomed Gryffindor Sokz to our family - A.K.A. "Gryffin" (deliberate ‘tip of the hat’ to my son’s other obsession, Harry Potter!).

The house was in chaos, the carpets were a disaster, but the kid was elated and Mommy had a chance to earn back a few of those long-gone “Mommy-of-the-Year” brownie points. Sounds like a perfect Hollywood ending, right? Insert image here of the boy & his dog frolicking off through the sunshine-filled fields as the credits start to roll… (I realize its January and the sunshine-filled moments are few & far between, but work with me here!)

And then it started.

A few eye rubs here & there…. A persistent tickle in that space where your ears & throat meet that you can never quite reach… Then full-on itchy, puffy, watery swollen eyes – the kind you get from the funeral scene in Steel Magnolias. A cold? No… feels a bit different. Could it be…? No… there’s no way…. It couldn’t be…. Oh no.

I think I’m allergic to the dog.

Now I’ve been around dogs on & off throughout my lifetime with absolutely no issues (barking, biting & pooping aside). I have absolutely no allergies, other than a self-diagnosed allergy to housework, but I don’t seem to get much sympathy for that one…

To say I feel absolutely sick about this is an understatement! “Here you go, little boy – here’s the gift you’ve wanted every day for your entire life. Enjoy! Now, just kidding!” Seriously, I have no idea how I’ll be able to afford the life-long therapy! And any chance of recouping those long-lost “Mom of the Year” points is obviously shot to hell.

I know what you’re all thinking (other than “Sucks to be you!”) – don’t put the cart before the horse (Lord, don’t introduce a horse to the equation, too!) – figure out if you’re truly allergic to the dog before you figure out the best way to crush your son’s hopes & dreams and scar him for life. Check. The appointment with the allergist is booked & I’m crossing my fingers that it isn’t the dog but is in fact my long pleaded for symptoms to that housework allergy...

In the interim, however, as each day passes and more balls are thrown, walks are taken and hugs are shared, the situation stresses me out more and more. Seriously, could you disappoint this face?

The Hole in My Holidays

‘Tis the season for making memories, family fun, love & laughter…

Now, let me start by saying I have had my share of amazing Christmases. Memorable gifts, great times spent with friends, and an amazing family to share it all with. They may be known to put the “fun in dysfunctional” at times, but they are truly a family beyond compare.

I honestly don’t feel like I’m missing anything when it comes to my family, yet somehow when the holiday season rolls around, there is a tiny part of me that is forced to think (Consider yourself warned!). Growing up in a divorced family, Christmases often became a carefully contrived and scheduled series of appearances.  My brother and I never spent a ton of time with my dad growing up, but we could always count on seeing him at least three times a year – Father’s Day, one gathering for our birthdays, and, of course, Christmas.

Fast forward to adulthood and, for some reason not completely understood by me, those three occasions disappeared altogether. Although disappointing, as an adult I learned how to come to a general level of acceptance and tolerance. What I didn’t count on was the surge of all of these repressed emotions erupting to the surface after the birth of my beautiful little boy. You don’t want anything to do with me? Okay. You don’t want to know this perfectly wonderful and innocent human being? Now the gloves are off!

Each year I continue to remind myself that my son is lucky enough to be surrounded by an army of incredible friends & family who love him dearly. Each year I once again tell myself that anyone who chooses not to be part of such a wonderful thing is the one who is suffering the loss.

Yet each year around the holidays I still find myself carefully selecting a handful of pictures, painstakingly crafting a warm yet vague message for the holiday card, neatly scripting the address I still know by heart onto the envelope and mailing off the picture-filled card in the hopes of…. Well, to be honest, I’m not sure.

I guess I just feel like he should know what he’s missing – whether he cares or not. Like it’s important that he’s aware of what an amazing little boy exists in this world that he COULD be fortunate enough to have in his life. At this point, is it even possible that my son would receive any sort of benefit by having a relationship with this stranger-by-choice? To be honest, I have no idea.

So then why do I keep up this one-way holiday ritual each year?

Masochistic tendencies?
Misguided belief that things might one day change?
Naïve inability to accept the inevitable?
Wish I knew…

What I do know is that I want to be completely confident that I have done everything I can to be the one who has kept the door of possibilities open at all costs.

He may not know that this phenomenal pint-sized individual is a taekwondo red belt… or that he hates carrots… or that he has a fantastic sense of humour… or that he gives the best hugs… or that he only eats home-baked cookies… or that he has to have his stuffed “Rudolph & Dexy” buddies with him every night…

But I continue to do what I can to ensure that he WILL know that this beautiful little boy is happy, healthy… and here. And what he chooses to do with that information is up to him.

In the meantime I will continue to cherish each and every moment that this incredible kid is in my life. And thank my lucky stars that we are both surrounded by so many exceptional human beings that we are lucky enough to call ‘our family’.