My Big Social Media Lesson

My Big Social Media Lesson

Facebook. Twitter. Linked In. Google Plus. Email. MSN. BBM…. Seriously, if I didn’t know any better, I could walk around with a seriously swelled head at how “connected” I am!

Now, if you’re one of those people who eat, sleep & breathe social media and can’t get enough of it, you may want to stop reading here. Go ahead……. I’ll wait………

For the rest of you, I have a confession to make…. I had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the world of social media. And truthfully, even once I was immersed in the world of the never-ending posts, updates, tweets, pings, nudges, and whatnot, I still trudged through it with a raised eyebrow and a grain of salt (sadly, not always around the rim of a margarita glass!).

To me the majority of these platforms took me back to all of the negative aspects of high school that I had hoped time – and therapy – had allowed me to forget. The showiness of people oversharing every last detail of their lives; the ‘cliquey-ness’ of people and groups who never seem to have time for anyone else; the acne… (Oh wait, wrong rant!). The majority of it all seemed like something that I “should” be doing, rather than something I really “wanted” to do.

All of that changed for me this past week.

Unfortunately my family was forced to deal with an incredibly sad and traumatic ordeal recently. I needed to get some information out in a hurry and decided to send it to some of my online “friends” in the hopes that one or two people might help out and spread the message.

To say I was overwhelmed would be a huge understatement.  Within minutes over 50 people had sent out the information; within an hour the number rose to over 100. Many of these were people I’ve never even met or spoken to IRL* (*IRL = In Real Life) yet they all took the time to help out a relative stranger. In fact, many of them sent me personal emails and messages with words of support and encouragement – and have followed up to check up on me as days have passed.

Truly amazed, humbled and grateful.

In today’s online world it’s easy to sometimes feel like just another random “friend”, “follower” or “fan” – another miscellaneous profile on various lists, groups or pages. It’s hard to believe that a person can feel isolated or alone in a time where we’re all more connected than we’ve ever been – but it can happen. The good news is that – just like high school – there are some truly amazing people who are there for you when you really need them.

So to all of those wonderful people who let me sit at the “cool kids’ table” this week and helped me through this tough time, my sincerest thanks. Thanks for the support… and thanks for helping me understand and appreciate the true value of the social circles that I am privileged to be part of.

Birthday Parties: Bonanza or Bust?

I’ve been thinking about the whole party planning process lately, and I’ve come to kind of a sad realization – by today’s standards, my parties just wouldn’t have cut it.

Today’s birthday parties aren’t just parties… they’re “experiences”. Experiences with tightly packed agendas, themes, entertainment, and more.

Today there are party planners dedicated to ensuring that every last detail is planned and in line with the birthday’s “theme”. Hmm… epic fail on my end, as I’m pretty sure that growing up my parties’ ‘themes’ were “Birthday Party”!

Ponies? Only if Barbie happened to get one to add to her Dream House.

Themed costumes? Do the cardboard party hats count?

Indoor playlands, beauty salons, craft centres, sports extravaganzas…? Nope. How about our living room? Or perhaps our backyard, if the weather cooperated. Actually, I do remember one particularly rousing party held within the confines of the McDonalds’ train caboose one year… Ah, good times…

Masterpiece cakes? Nope. Big thanks to the various grocery store offerings, or the few “homemade” efforts (thanks, Betty Crocker!). I do remember one year my mom cobbled together a particularly impressive Raggedy Ann cake, complete with licorice hair, etc., but the creativity was killed by my “pre-party sampling” that wholeheartedly destroyed her efforts! (Sorry, mom!)

And don’t even get me started on the “money cakes”… They were awesome! Random coins baked into a cake – and you got to keep whatever you could find. Sweet! If you choked on one or cracked a tooth, the general consensus was that you should have been more careful. Can you imagine the lawsuits and social media chaos that would erupt today?

And those tightly packed agendas jammed with swimming/laser tag/craft-building/circus events/and more? Can they really compete with musical chairs, hot potato and pin-the-tail-on-the-donkey?

And speaking of games, there were those who won, and those who lost. And if you lost, it sucked. But you sucked it up and got over it. EVERYONE didn’t win, but everyone had fun.

Let’s face it – times have changed. The infamous bar has been raised and we all have the choice to keep up with the proverbial “Joneses” or blaze a new trail. Rest assured, whichever path you choose, your kids will most likely never remember if their napkins matched their loot bags. But they’ll remember that you were there and took the time to make their day special… with whatever that entails.

Now, where did I order those amazing Batman-themed cupcakes last year…? ;)

I've Been Crowned!

Yes, it's true. I have recently been crowned "World’s Meanest Mommy" by my adoring 7-year old! Yes, that’s right – all of you who have been diligently vying for the title can now stop practicing your talent routines and polishing up your “world peace” speech. The crown has been awarded, and I have no doubt I’ll have absolutely no problem fulfilling any and all duties as required!

What have I done to earn this highly sought after title? What HAVEN’T I done?? In fact, just this week alone I have:

•    Took him to Summer Camp (yes, I knowingly abandoned him in an environment with other kids, games, activities, outdoor events and other evil tortures...)

•    Took him back to camp on Day 2 after receiving explicit instructions that he had absolutely no interest in returning (I obviously don’t take direction well!)

•    Asked him if he wanted to make his bed or brush his teeth first before heading out to the aforementioned camp (I know, can you imagine??)

•    Refused to buy him a ginger cookie from Starbucks as a treat for surviving Day 2 of camp (NOTE: Offering to make them at home does not produce brownie (or cookie) points!)

•    Suggested that he should have drank all of the water in his thermos at camp, after complaining of being hot (NOTE: Cold, fresh, filtered eco-friendly water – not pond water, puddle water, toilet water…).


And, don’t worry, I’m obviously full of equal opportunity nastiness – and have cemented my title outside of the camp venue this week as well:

•    Made him get out of the public swimming pool (NOTE: The fact that we were there swimming for two straight hours and the public swim time was actually over is apparently irrelevant.)

•    Mixed the soy sauce into the rice without letting him put it on himself (Did you know it tastes differently??)

•    Didn’t buy him a dog when we were at the pet store to pick up hamster food (Since when does a Retriever become an impulse purchase??)

•    Made his sandwich with mixed greens instead of romaine lettuce (apparently, it’s all about the crunch…)

•    Told him that he shouldn’t worry about the fact that the bouncy castle was covered in Disney Princesses… (Seriously, is the bounce impacted that much??)


Can you imagine if I included all of my “mean mommy” evidence from the last seven years? No one else would stand a chance!

But the best part of “Meanest Mommy in the World”? The hug, the kiss and the “I love you, Mommy” I still get at the end of every day. And that’s even cooler than the crown… (most days!)

22 Ways to Survive the Summer with Kids!

So, in another couple of days, the two words that send shivers down the spines of most parents will be heard…. “School’s out”. That’s right – no more teachers, no more books…. No more kids out of the house and kept busy by someone else for seven hours a day! So, with 44 days of “I’m bored” ahead of me, I’m determined to attack with a plan this year. 44 days? Bring ‘em on…

1.    First and foremost, track down every friend with kids who lives within walking, biking, driving… hangliding distance and put them on notice. The more playdates you set up, the better your chances for success. Share the pain.

2.    Turn your yard into a makeshift artist’s studio. Line your back deck or patio with rolls of easel paper or construction paper – tape it all down, bring out as many paints, markers, & crayons as you can find (all washable, of course) and let your “mini-Monet” go to town!


3.    Sunny day? Dirty car? Set up your own car wash and let your little ones run the show. BONUS POINTS: Get them to clean their dinky cars and any other random toys too!

4.    Let your little one plan an entire meal, from start to finish and then spend some time in the kitchen helping them prepare their meal for the family. (NOTE: You may want to set some suggestions around “One food per food group” or use the Today I Ate A Rainbow guideline so you don’t end up with chocolate pudding, marshmallows & goldfish crackers for dinner!)

5.    Let them plan a meal that includes chocolate pudding, marshmallows & goldfish crackers. Hey, its Summer!

6.    Hop on the city bus, GO Train, streetcar, or subway and make an adventure of it. Half the time you don’t actually have to be going anywhere in particular for them to have a good time!

7.    Break out the sidewalk chalk and create a masterpiece on your driveway.

8.    Create a Scavenger Hunt list and see how many items you can find around your neighbourhood.

9.    Grab a camera (or pick up a disposable one) and let your budding photographer take pictures of whatever catches their eye each day. BONUS POINTS: Get them printed and put in a little album for them to remember that they actually had a fun time with you!

10.    Check out a local Conservation Area – take a nature hike and see what you can find. (Don’t forget the water & some snacks to help ward off a crabby cohort!)

11.    Plan a “What do you want to be when you grow up” day – Veterinarian? Visit a pet store or petting zoo. Chef? Pick out fresh ingredients at the grocery store. Firefighter? See if you can pop by the station for a quick tour or visit. Teacher? Break out the chalkboard or some flashcards and let them teach you a few things!

12.    Start befriending that neighbour of yours with the pool… Just sayin’….

13.    Rainy day? Crank the iPod and dance the day away. BONUS POINTS: set up your video camera and create a fun little music video of you & your backups getting your groove on. They’ll get a kick out of watching themselves and *poof* you’ve created a lasting memory.

14.    Whenever you do something or go somewhere fun, have your kids draw a picture or write something about it. Then, at the end of the summer you have a scrapbook of memories for them – and written proof that they actually had fun at some point!

15.    Write a story – every day get your child to write one line of a story, then you write one; add another line each everyday, then read it aloud at the end of the Summer. Feel free to draw pictures to illustrate it for bonus points, then laminate & bind it. More memories... more time killed!

16.    Can’t sweet talk that friend with the pool? Check out your local rec centre for family swim days and times. Bonus points: some cities even have free sponsored swims (i.e. by Tim Horton’s) – so you can use the money you saved to treat yourself to a well-deserved coffee afterwards!

17.    Declare “Treat Tuesday” (only if it’s Tuesday, of course!) – choose a nearby treat shop (i.e. Starbucks, Tim Hortons, local bakery, ice cream parlour, etc.) and head out for a shared treat. BONUS POINTS: make it somewhere you can walk or bike to, instead of taking the car – good exercise and takes up more time in the day!

18.    Find a big hill and walk to the top with your kids. Lie down. Begin rolling. Laugh uncontrollably. Reach bottom. Repeat as necessary. Trust me – sometimes it’s the simple things!

19.    Plan a moonlight dessert picnic. Talk it up throughout the day and get your little ones to help with the planning. Roast marshmallows over candles or set up lanterns or tea lights around a blanket in the backyard and dine on donuts “al fresco” while staring up at the stars.

20.    Take in a matinee and soak up a little A/C on a hot day. BONUS POINTS: some smaller theatres show older movies at a fraction of the cost – more money for popcorn!

21.    Visit a local farmers’ market and check out all of the yummy fruit, veggies and other foods. Make it a game to buy & try one new food each time you go. BONUS POINTS: some of them have amazing homemade fudge or cupcake vendors. Just sayin’…


22.    Visit a local beach and fill your day with sand, surf (and snacks!). Build sandcastles, play in the water and soak up the sun. BONUS POINTS: keep a few bottles of water in your car to wash off sandy toes before they get into the car!

Most importantly, make time to sit back and enjoy the fact that you’ve all made it to the halfway point of the Summer... in one piece... more or less!

Only 22 more days to go...!

Who Wants to Play?

One of the great things about working from home is that I’m able to avoid “Camp Chaos” - the endless juggling & scheduling required to fill up the 44 weekdays (but who’s counting??) between “School’s Out!” to that first glorious September school bell. Between figuring out the logistics of getting them to & from the camp, raiding piggy banks & couch cushions to ensure you can actually pay for these camps, and (hopefully) finding camps that are even remotely of interest to the little day campers (preferable, but not required!), it can seriously be a full-time job!

So I should be kicking back with a celebratory drink toasting the fact that I don’t have to deal with all of that, right? Not exactly… What is my little guy most looking forward to this Summer? “Playing.”

Here’s where I lose my “Mom of the Year” nomination (Hey, I could have had one…!) – I have to confess something… I don’t like to play. I can read with him, tackle an art project together, brave the baking/cooking process with my sous chef at my side, collect rocks on nature hikes, and plan day trips with the best of them. Heck, I can even endure the occasional board game. But ask me to just generally “play” and the glowing “Super Mommy” halo starts to slip.

I’ve watched him do it – he can run around in circles in the backyard making space laser noises and inventing stories and conversations for what seems like hours at a time. He can go forever telling me what to say & what to do in order to be part of the current scenario. And don’t get me wrong – I do it… I just don’t get it! I know that not everything requires a purpose – but admittedly, I just function much more effectively when there is one.

I know, I need to just relax and enjoy the fact that he wants to hang out with me at all – and trust me, I love spending time with him – I just need to get better at this “play” thing. I guess I’ve got 44 days to get it down pat (but who’s counting??).

Man Up!

Don’t let the tough-guy, taekwondo-kicking, always-on-the-move thing fool you – my kid is as sensitive as they come. Talk about wearing his heart on his sleeve – he’s practically got it tattooed right on the middle of his forehead! I’m pretty sure “The Fox and the Hound” scarred him for life,  and I have yet to find a Disney movie that doesn’t have at least one scene where I assume my position as “World’s Meanest Mommy” for “making” him endure such an appalling experience.


When he gets frustrated, the tears come. If one of his buddies has something less-than-positive to say about his choice of game/snack/superhero/etc., the lip starts a-quivering. If he thinks I’m upset about something – poof! My sad little shadow is glued to my side.

So here’s my dilemma … we talk about encouraging kids to be “real”, express their emotions, be themselves, and all that other good stuff. Heck, isn’t Sensitivity usually on the list of “must haves” for the ol’ Perfect Mate Checklist?

Sounds great – my kid is sharing and I’m raising the next "Perfect 10". Perfect.

Not perfect. For as much as everyone sings the Sensitivity Song, there is also an equally strong assumption out there that no one likes a Weeping Willie. Society likes its men strong, in control, with just a hint of softness that only makes an appearance during the fleeting, yet appropriate situations.

So “How much is too much”? I shudder at the “Boys don’t cry” battle cry and, quite frankly, I love the extra hugs & cuddles when he’s upset and only Mommy can fix it.  I don’t want to downplay what he’s feeling, but not keeping it in check at some point sets him up for a whole world of hurt.

Let him cry? Don’t cry at all? Cry for a minute & a half, then man up? This parenting thing is a lot of work! I think for now, I’ll just go with the flow, enjoy the hugs… and ditch the Disney movies!

A Funny Thing Happened on the way to the Pet Store

Let me start by saying I’m not really a ‘pet person’. I mean, cats & dogs are great... if they're other people’s. The way I see it, I’m just not equipped to deal with feeding, cleaning, walking, and training another little creature – I’ve got my son for that!


So when he first started begging for a pet, we finally caved and bought him a fish. We convinced him that watching it swim back & forth would be entertaining enough… and for the first little while, he actually bought it! Fast forward four years, two dead fish and one life lesson of death, grief, etc. and you’re up to speed. My son was ready to hit the pet store and find another little friend to follow in the fins of the infamous Bluey and Herbie. I sent him off with hubby to the pet store for what seemed to be a ‘win-win’ situation for everyone – son gets new fish, dad gets quality time with son, mom gets an uninterrupted 20 minutes to enjoy a coffee.

Well, time passed and coffee consumed – however when ‘the boys’ returned, there was no fish to be found. Why? It seems that somewhere between my driveway and the neighbourhood pet store, the wish for a replacement fish somehow morphed into a burning desire for a hamster! Seriously?? A fur-covered mouse, requiring much more maintenance, that stinks, and could potentially escape (not once did either of our fish ever make a break for it!). What part of this seems fun?

Plus, when the time comes for this thing to head to ‘hamster heaven’, we’re now dealing with a dead ‘thing’, rather than just a floating fish. Lovely. So when my son sat us down and declared a ‘family meeting’ to discuss the potential new addition, I was prepped & ready to launch into “anti-pet” mode.

What I didn’t count on was how seriously he was taking the process. He sat us down with a piece of paper and a pencil in hand and proceeded to write out his detailed list of pros & cons. He asked the right questions, gave the right answers, wrote out a schedule and asked for a vote.

Nuts. I could feel my resolve starting to crumble. Could I stick to my guns and keep my house rodent-free?

Meet Harry, the newest addition to our family….. *sigh*…. Could you say no to that face??