The Greatest Gift I Never Played

Let me start by saying I’ve received some great Christmas gifts over the years. As a kid, I spent countless hours creating hundreds of baked goods by the light of a 10 watt bulb. The year Santa showed up with our very first video game system was a definite hit (Atari’s Space Invaders, anyone??). The Christmas Eve my brother & I discovered our new Walkmans under the tree was a huge score! (NOTE: IF you were born after 1985 just picture a huge iPod!)

But none of them hold a candle to that one gift that resulted in choirs singing, spotlights beaming down and sheer & utter happiness prevailing. The year I stumbled down the stairs with messy hair and crumpled pyjamas with half-opened eyes and saw it. The gift that made all of the waiting and hoping and praying worthwhile. Yes, it was every little girl’s dream.

Jaws.

That’s right – my happiness that year was found at the bottom of a plastic 12” shark. *Sigh*…

I was too young to be able to actually watch the movie that was sweeping the nation, or even know when or if it was actually safe to go back in the water.  But I knew it was a big thing and come hell or high water I wanted to be part of it too! So forget the dollhouse or the Barbie or the colouring books – it was the Jaws game that was destined to make my Christmas complete.

So there it was at the top of every Christmas list, shared with every mall Santa, circled & dog-eared in every toy catalogue & flyer we received. I wanted – no… I NEEDED this Jaws game to be under my tree Christmas morning.

Thankfully, Santa Claus has a reputation of delivering. Of course, as kids we may not be aware of how many miles Santa may have to cover, how many shopping malls he may need to frequent, how many favours he may need to call in to locate the desired item… All that mattered was that come Christmas morning, my Christmas wish had come true. There amongst the Christmas tree tinsel and orange-filled stockings lay the most beautiful hunk of plastic my 6-year old eyes had ever seen.

I immediately ignored the other gifts that Santa had so generously left to keep my Jaws game company, and got down to business. I gently took the beloved shark out of its box and lovingly set up all of the pieces according to the directions. The goal of the game was to carefully pick the various items out of the shark’s mouth with a hook. If you weren’t careful – SNAP! The mouth snapped shut and the game was over. Seems relatively straightforward, doesn’t it?

So the shark was set up in its place of honour; the plastic tires, boots and other random paraphernalia were strategically placed throughout its mouth; I had finished limbering up and had the hook in my hand ready to rescue that first piece of junk from this fierce competitor. I spied the spare tire leaning haphazardly against the anchor and knew it was an easy rescue. I leaned in slowly – taking all angles into consideration – carefully hooked the inside of the tire and ever so slowly began the extraction process. Slowly….. past the anchor… over the rubber glove… around the old shoe… and……

SNAP!

I never played that game again.

(Sorry Santa!)

Do you have a favourite holiday gift that you'll never forget?

Taking My Holiday Season Back

The sugar rush has faded, the pumpkins have found their way to the curb, and the spooky spiderwebs have been stashed until next October. Where does that leave us? That’s right – Holiday Planning Season. The time of year where sleigh bells and mistletoe are not-so-delicately punctuated with countless items from the endless to-do list.

• Plan the holiday baking.
• Find the best holiday baking recipes.
• Learn how to bake.
• Pull out the holiday decorations.
• Pull out the repair kit to restore the decorations that didn’t survive the Summer storage.
• Head to the store to buy all new decorations.
• Buy Holiday cards.
• Address, sign & mail all Holiday cards.
• Cut self some slack when signed & sealed Holiday cards are found in a closet following Holiday season.
• Make a holiday gift shopping list.
• Vow to complete all holiday shopping without leaving it to the last minute.
• Breathe deeply when braving holiday crowds while shopping at the last minute.

Is it any wonder that the first sound of those jingling bells strikes fear in the hearts of so many of us? So much to do, so little time… so much to accomplish, so little money to go ‘round… such high expectations of holiday spirit, such low levels of patience to be endured…

Well, not this year! This year I’m taking my holiday season back – and I’m going to find my holiday cheer if it kills me!

I will not...

• stress about finding the perfect gift for everyone.
• glare menacingly at the next person who tells me how many shopping days there are until Christmas.
• roll my eyes as the 27th rendition of “Silver Bells” blares over the radio airwaves… in November.
• purposely walk slowly to my parking spot at the mall to irritate the person who has been trailing me with their car since my foot hit the pavement.

I will...

• enjoy any and all holiday cookies that come my way without giving in to the guilt.
• revel in the giddy happiness that the red festive cups at Starbucks bring me.
• take a moment and reflect upon how beautiful the first snowfall really is.
• remember that my son will only be young enough to enjoy the magic of Christmas for a short time and I should enjoy every minute of it.

So that’s that. I am officially vowing to bump “Find & retain my joy” to the top of my Holiday to-do list. I’m inspired, I’m motivated, I’m… going to run to Starbucks to kickstart my campaign with another holiday-themed cup. After that, I’m figuring out what the heck a ‘bobtail’ is, and letting those bells ring!

Tough Guys or Tender Hearts?

Recently I was forced to think (not always a pretty sight!). I was fortunate enough to attend a screening of “MissRepresentation” at Blissdom Canada – a writing & business conference in Toronto – and the experience led to countless conversations that went well into the night.

Basically, the movie shared how the media’s misrepresentation of women has led to increased challenges for women in society, regarding their appearance, career paths, and overall positions of power and influence. Everyone from elementary school children to celebrities to high-level politicians weighed in on the topic – as did all of the incredible women in attendance that evening.

Admittedly, my initial reaction as a parent of a little boy included a small sigh of relief knowing that these issues were not necessarily directly on my radar as a parent (yay, boys!). However, my little “bliss bubble” was duly shattered the longer the thinking process continued (can ignorance really be bliss??). I may not be raising a daughter, but these were still undoubtedly my issues to deal with.

I was reminded of some of the conflicting messaging I deal with on a regular basis while raising my beautiful little boy. On one hand, I would love for him to be the new “Millennium Man” – sensitive, empathetic, caring, not afraid to show emotions. I want him to believe that women and men are completely equal and the world is open and available to everyone equally. I want him to be blind to gender stereotyping and follow his career aspirations, whatever they may be, without pressure or worries. I want him to grow up always able to hug and love as freely and as openly as he does now.

But in encouraging him to move in that direction, am I building him up for success or setting him up for a world of hurt?

Mainstream media is filled with endless examples of women gravitating towards the ‘tough guy’, while the ‘nice guy’ is quietly pushed aside. We’re constantly presented with heartbreaking stories about various children who have suffered tremendous pressure and ridicule through online and/or in-person bullying. As an ideal, typically boys are encouraged to “man up”, excel at sports, be active & driven and not get hung up on feelings, etc. Of course I want my son to grow up and be accepted in society and excel as a man, but at what point does the contradiction become too much?

At a recent taekwondo tournament, my little guy was competing in his first sparring event and lost in the finals. He promptly burst into tears – partially motivated, I’m sure, by the loss but equally as much by the swift kick to the unprotected thigh he received mid-event. My first instinct as a mom was to take him in my arms and comfort him – letting him know I was incredibly proud of him and hoping the promise of hot chocolate from Tim Horton’s afterwards would help alleviate some of the pain. However, a fleeting thought did pass through my mind – Will people think he’s crying because he didn’t win? Do they think he’s a ‘wimp’ or a ‘suck’? Truthfully, I was horrified, saddened and riddled with guilt all at the same time.

As parents, we want the best for our kids. And unfortunately sometimes that involves a number of difficult contradictions. Be strong but sensitive. Be confident but humble. Be successful but charitable. If we can’t figure it out, how the heck are our kids going to be able to?

I have no idea what the future holds for my little guy – I can only cross my fingers & toes and hope that he’s happy, healthy, and successful – whatever that means to him. For now, I will encourage him to laugh until his cheeks hurt, cry until he feels better and allow me to be there for him through it all.

My Back-up Blessings

My Back-up Blessings

We all know that Thanksgiving is a great time to count your blessings and be grateful for all of the wonderful things that have a place in your life. Like many people, my health, my wonderful family, and my amazing friends maintain a much-deserved position at the top of the list. Pretty much a no-brainer, right? So this Thanksgiving I thought I would take a moment to appreciate my “Backup Blessings” – you know, the things that randomly make break into a mental ‘happy dance’ when they happen…

•    The seat heater in my car. Seriously, I run that thing until June!

•    Catching Starbucks on a day where they’re handing out free samples (Free coffee? Bring it on!)

•    Finding that all the socks that went into the washing machine actually made their way into and out of the dryer. Miraculous!

•    Hitting nothing but green lights when I’m running late (assuming, or course, there are times when I’m NOT running late!)

•    When the duvet actually stays where it belongs instead of ending up in a pool down by my feet

•    Good hair days. Enough said.

•    Good mail days – gotta love anytime there’s a magazine, a product sample or anything to offset the drudgery of bills & junk mail!

•    Seeing comments on my blog or Facebook pictures. I love being acknowledged!

•    Paying for something and finding out there’s an extra discount I didn’t know about. Score!

•    Waking up and realizing there are still hours to go before my alarm goes off

•    Remembering there’s a secret chocolate stash in the cupboard

•    Finding out there’s actually some chocolate in the secret chocolate stash when I get there!

•    Making a dinner that everyone will eat willingly without turned up noses or picked out pieces

•    Putting on a pair of socks and realizing there are no holes or runs in them (a sad glimpse into the state of my sock drawer!)

•    Thinking I have no cash in my wallet and then discovering that through the miracle of endless loonies & toonies, I actually have enough for a latté and a lemon poppyseed loaf (Nirvana!)

•    Finding a pair of nylons in my drawer that don’t have a run in them.

•    Not having to wear nylons

•    Needing batteries and finding some. Then finding out they actually work!

•    Finding money in my coat pocket or pair of jeans. A surprise savings plan!

•    Those mittens that open up and are gloves underneath. It’s like the best of both worlds!

•    Breaking off the perfect length of dental floss (too long is a waste, too short won’t stay on the fingers! I know… I have issues…)

•    Call display. Sometimes knowing who I’m not talking to can be a beautiful thing…

So do any of these things displace the sheer happiness I feel when I’m surrounded by all of the incredible people in my life? Of course not. I love my son, my husband, and the rest of my family with all my heart and not a day goes by where I don’t remind myself of how lucky I am to have them.

That being said, some reading a new magazine, while spending some ‘found money’ on a coffee… all while enjoying matched socks and a good hair day never hurt anyone!

What are your back-up blessings?

Why I Blame Tiger Woods

This past weekend my “one and only” competed in his very first kids triathlon and if there was a prouder mama there, you would have been hard pressed to find her! He swam, biked and ran his little heart out and at the end of it he was thrilled to run into the waiting arms of his cheering section! (Well, that may have just been a momentary diversion on his direct path to the snack table, but I digress…) He didn’t finish first, he didn’t finish last… he finished. And for a little guy who has a “slight” (read: MASSIVE) tendency to lean towards perfectionism, his pride (and relief!) was a thing of beauty.



You would think that a high five and a few mama tears of joy might have been the end of the story, but unfortunately the overall experience was somewhat tarnished by some of the things we witnessed while we were there. Dads yelling at their kids to “Stop breathing like that… breathe properly!!”… moms shouting in the not-so-distant distance “ What are you doing?? You’re not even trying!”… parents shaking their heads in disbelief and bemoaning the “certainty” that “there’s no way he/she is going to win doing it like that…!”.



Seriously? Perhaps I have low expectations but if my son is breathing at all, I’m a happy mama. Not trying? How do I know? Maybe he’s thinking I could be cheering harder! Not going to win? Couldn’t care less… My only hope was that he finished… in one piece… and didn’t turn into a popsicle in the process (It was crazy cold out there!!).



When did “being the best” become the ONLY option? I remember playing softball, ringette, hockey, etc. growing up – sometimes I had a great game, sometimes not so much. Sometimes we won, sometimes it was a disaster. People won, people lost… but at the end of the day everyone seemed to understand that it was mainly for fun and 90% of us were never going to make it to the ‘big leagues’. And that was okay.



Why is it that these days, all kids need to be the “Tiger Woods” of their chosen sport almost immediately upon exiting the womb? Whether you’re smacking golf balls, swimming laps, shooting baskets or even ‘tickling the ivories”… did I miss the memo stating that everyone needs to be a superstar??



My question is this – if my son has to be “the best” at something, and we all need to get him immersed in whatever that may be ASAP, aren’t I picking what I want him to be good at? There are the few rare “phenoms”, like Tiger Woods, who seemed to destined for certain things (although perhaps we won’t pay too much attention to where that eventually got him!) but they are most certainly the exception rather than the rule. A phenomenon is, by definition, a “singularity” or “unusual occurrence” – not the norm. So why do we all expect that everyone needs to conquer the competition?



My 7 year old is a smart kid, who is kind, caring, empathetic, inquisitive and makes me laugh until my sides hurt. He swims, is a red belt in taekwondo, has played soccer, enjoys rock climbing and may even check out snowboarding this Winter. Is he the ‘best’ at any of these things? Nope. Will he be at some point? Probably not. But if he decides that one of these things – or even something else – is his true passion I will be there to support him 110%, whether he’s 1st or 101st.



Don’t get me wrong. I love my son dearly and obviously want nothing but the best for him. The difference is that I’m completely okay with letting him decide what that might be. And until then, I will continue to be his biggest fan, supporter and champion.



He’s already talking about the possibility of another triathlon next year. Maybe he’ll do better… maybe he won’t. (Maybe it will be warmer!) And that’s completely okay with me.

Will You Be My Friend?

At a recent birthday celebration (we won’t mention the age!), I took a second to appreciate the room full of not only amazing family members, but also fantastic friends who have been in my life for years. Many of these friends have been with me through highs, lows, and everything in between – and besides, they know where the bodies are buried so it’s good to keep them close by!

That being said, the majority of these friends are people who I’ve known from high school or even earlier. It got me thinking – is it really that much harder to develop long-lasting friendships as you get older? Not just the “grab-a-coffee” friends or “let’s-chat-about-last-night’s-Big-Brother” friends or the “hey-you’ve-got-toilet-paper-tucked-into-your-skirt” friends… I’m talking about the honest-to-goodness “I-would-share-my-last-glass-of-wine-with-you” connection. A real true friend!

When my son makes new friends, it’s often a simple “Wanna be my friend?” that creates a potential lifelong buddy. Since my life doesn’t necessarily revolve around playgrounds and Pokemon, it definitely seems a bit tougher.

When I was on mat leave, there weren’t many friends off at the same time, so I threw myself into whatever local ‘mommy events’ & Early Years Centre groups I could find. To say it wasn’t exactly a raging success is an understatement. I went in desperate for adult conversation and some touch of the “mommy bonding” – and came out desperate to jam a fork in my eye! It was the same group of people each time, and it felt more like a walking “brag book” then an actual support group. (Seriously, if your kid slept through the night from Day 1, nursed like a champ at all times, napped 20 hours a day, was reading by 6 months of age, and painlessly grew a full set of teeth at the same time – just assume we can’t be friends!)

What I learned is not to give up. I have been so fortunate to stumble upon so many amazing people who make me feel like less of a basket case mom - people who just "get it". And I'm sure it's made me a better mom - and a better person - to have those outlets and such support. Never try to do it alone.

End of story, right? Not quite…  As I looked around that room at that infamous birthday event not so long ago, I was so grateful to be able to see “news friend” amongst my “true friends”. Seeing people who not only "knew me when" but also people who know me now - and like what they see - has been incredibly gratifying. I'm so glad that their answer to my “Will you be my friend” has been a resounding “yes”!

How I Survived My Family This Summer

How I survived my family this summer

Don’t get me wrong. I love my family. I really do. And I love hanging out with them. However, when a recent opportunity came our way to take a family road trip to Florida, my first reaction was “Wow, how long do we have to be in a car together??” After all, I have the kid who breaks into the never-ending “Are-We-There-Yet” chorus when our travels exceed the 15 minute mark!

As part of a recent media fleet excursion to test the new Chevrolet Orlando, we packed up our bags and headed on a fantastic whirlwind adventure that included stops in West Virginia, Georgia and finally, Orlando (Get it? An Orlando to Orlando??) I was thrilled about the opportunity, excited about the events planned along the way… and terrified about the 23 hours of fighting & fidgeting – and that’s just from me!

Now, I’m not usually the type to flip ahead to the end of the book, but let me just say… we not only survived but actually had an amazing time. In fact, we’re even talking about planning our next road trip – which would only be possible because of the tips & tricks we learned on this trip.

1.    Never underestimate the power of the electronic babysitter! My son’s favourite part of the vehicle? The iPad propped up on the back seat! Sure, I’m all about limiting screentime in the comfort of my own home, but on a 23 hour road trip? Bring on those Angry Birds!

Happy kid? Check!

2.    Keeping connected! I admit it – my first car didn’t even have a tape deck. So imagine my surprise when this car actually came equipped with a USB port! While I was happily debating whether my phone or my iPod should be the first to benefit, Dear Hubby already had his laptop up & running and was halfway through his first report. Hmm… not exactly as I saw it playing out, but we were well on our way!

Happy husband? Check!

3.    Sing out loud, Sing out strong! The way I see it, if I can’t knock off a few Angry Birds, or surf the web to find the nearest Starbucks, then the radio stations are all mine. And, of course, the luxury of controlling the XM Satellite Radio means hours and hours of pure ‘80s bliss (much to Hubby's chagrin!). Time to channel my inner Cyndi Lauper!

Happy me? Check!

So, could we have survived this experience without the help from our electronic travelmates? Of course – driving through mountains, historic towns, and other major attractions was an amazing experience we’ll always appreciate. The gift of enjoying this experience as a family? Unmistakeable. Seeing the joy on my son’s face as we pulled in to Disney or my husband’s face as we explored historic downtown Savannah? Priceless. And if you ask my son, one of his favourite memories of the trip was falling in love with Maggie, his new 'furry friend' at the Bed & Breakfast in West Virginia! (Hey, beats the hamster!)

And for that I will always be grateful – to GM and to my family, for an experience I will never forget. And for reminding me how cool my family really is.

Is technology necessary to surviving family time? Of course not – but that Starbucks app was definitely appreciated!

Does technology get the invite on your road trips?